Love & Hate

Love & hate
Such a thin line between them.

We start the day with laughter and sweet kisses,
Spending most of it exchanging kind words and endless ‘I love you’s’
Talk about the good times on the sofa reminiscing,
To planning our future, me wanting 3 little ones and you wanting at least 5…multiplied by 2

Then, somehow, good turns into bad,
‘Could you please occasionally wash your dishes?’ Or ‘could you put the volume down, just a tad?’,
Looking back at it the arguments always seem so pity,
But at the time the tension would escalate so quickly.

Before you know it, the morning laughter and sweet kisses are soon forgotten,
Now we’re both bringing up things from the past that we should have forgotten,
Spit the most nastiest things at each other with hurt being the aim of the game,
If only our future 7 kids could see us, we would truly be filled with shame.

Lose our voices from hours of screaming,
Not a care in the world for our neighbours and their children that might be sleeping,
Selfishly spending the rest of the day preparing our excuses,
Using tactics like deflection and blame,
Neither taking responsibility, remaining a loyal player to the game.

Refusing to approach or apologise to the other first,
Unknowingly paving the way for the devil to build on our egos as he continues to whisper ‘maybe this relationship is cursed’.
We go to bed with hurt feelings and crying tears of pain,
I was always left wondering if we would have our night time cuddle,
but you never did,
I’m left wondering why I even considered having your kids.

We would allow days and weeks to pass,
Avoiding eye contact.

Responding to Questions with minimal answers,
As we let the time pass.

Eventually we would miss our conversations.
You, acting a fool taking pride in making me laugh,
As I would miss the feel of your finger running up and down my calf,
Your soft sweet touch.

Allowing ourselves to remember the good times, slowly filling our hearts with forgiveness.
Remembering our wedding day and the vowels that we promised as our loved ones witnessed,
Soon all is forgotten and egos deflate,
Back to feelings of togetherness and you now wanting 8.

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