“29 is still young!”, people try to constantly reassure me,
But it’s trying to reassure myself that would be the step closer to my victory.
For some reason I know ‘being old’ is still a long way away for me,
But at this stage, just getting a little glimpse of where I’m heading to, is where I want to be.
Stuck in a dead end job for the last 7 years, this can’t be good for me,
Sat at a desk behind a computer screen,answering phones and greeting customers,
At the end of everyday always leaves me with the same question, “Is this it for me?”
I don’t have to be praised or told that I’m smart and skilled,
I’m fully aware & extremely grateful for what God has blessed me with,
But why should I waste my time working tirelessly for a company,
Helping them grow, while I fall through the holes like water through a sieve.
Feelings of frustration and fear take over me,
I know that I want to do more to benefit humanity,
But how can I benefit humanity without first learning how to benefit selfishly,
Without learning how to love myself and wanting the best for me.
This first requires the understanding that I am worth more and deserve more, or at least that’s what I believe.
Fighting a battle with laziness and lack of self belief has always been a struggle,
Growing up as a child, being told that I was stupid always dampened the hustle,
But I know she never meant it, I understand now that it was tough love.
She didn’t know any better, education ended at nursery level,
Young with no parents of her own,
She was left to raise herself along with 7 children from the age of 17,
I know she just wanted better…
She wanted a better life for me along with the two things she never had,
Education and the ability to learn,
So every other present was a pen and a pad.
Though it’s not proven by fancy certificates and degrees,
She’s by far the smartest woman I know and the best teacher that I have ever had,
Skilled in the education & knowledge of life that only a few know.
Now I finally understand, there’s no excuse for me not to grow.
So the first things on the to-do list are:
– Love yourself
-Believe in yourself
– Take pride in your shine
Oh, and a memo for 2018:
Conquer the world of 30 now that you’ve just turned 29.