Sorry…not Sorry

Stupid.

Stupid to think that you had ever loved me.

Taking my kindness for weakness,

Building on your own strength,

I was too young and naive to realise that we could never be,

But I had to meet you in order to meet the new me,

I see that now.

The scene had always been set since I was a little girl,

As I stood in a beautiful gold dress with you beside me, my handsome prince,

Dancing the night away like a scene from Beauty & the Beast,

I thought and hoped that I could always change you,

Or make you love me at the very least.

As the months passed they slowly became years,

My energy being drained and my laughter turning into tears,

Resting my head on the pillow and crying myself to sleep,

Waking up each morning with the deep sadness that my pain was set on repeat.

It wasn’t life or love, I see that now.

The day finally came when I asked God, ‘Why me?!’,

A voice in my head replied, ‘because there is purpose in your pain child, trust me’

And so trust in him is exactly what I did,

And soon my heart’s sight was finally restored and I knew that my purpose hid deep in this relationship.

I see that now.

I was becoming a woman,

 Recognising that being blind and being in love is never the answer,

Coming to the harsh realisation that it is not my job to change you,

That if you won’t change yourself for the better then I won’t bother either.

I can see that now.

So in saying that, I now say this,

Feel free to find yourself another,

Who is willing to take on the role as your mother,

Oh, and please pass on a message from me to her,

‘Good luck!’

I’m done with doing for you and now,

I’m focused on doing for me.

So with all sincerity,

I’m sorry… not Sorry.

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